The Privilege of Struggle

The day felt strange.

It wasn’t heavy. It wasn’t light. It was just… there. Something unfamiliar lingered, a presence not normally part of the day.

I was quiet, quieter than usual, and someone even mentioned it during a meeting. The moment they did, I knew the reason. It surely wasn’t about me. It was about them.

Being a contributor in our house is important to me. Cleaning the kitchen after dinner, every night, is one way I reflect that. It’s a moment of meaningful accomplishment.

That night, as always, I had music on. Truth be told, I love disco music. Some of my best memories come from nights at disco clubs in my 20s. There’s an energy to that music, a vibrance that resonates even now.

I asked our resident CIA operative, Alexa, to play Africa by Toto, and what followed was the greatest playlist ever created.

I sang. I danced. I laughed. Completely unbothered that the entire back of our house, mostly glass, left me visible to the neighbors.

And then it hit me.

“You know what today is, don’t you?”

My father’s birthday.

Here I was, in my kitchen, singing, dancing, living a life that still feels surreal at times. A life I built, a life I treasure. And yet, the presence wasn’t there to celebrate, it was there to remind me of my father.

It wasn’t a call to action. It wasn’t a request to dig deep and process unresolved feelings. I tried to write about it, but the words didn’t come. Not because of resistance, but because that well has been emptied and refilled.

But here’s the thing I couldn’t shake.

That moment, me dancing in my kitchen, carefree and alive, was made possible by being raised by and enduring torment from a very broken man.

And here’s the truth….

I wouldn’t change any of it. Not a single moment. Because every piece of that journey made me who I am today.

Some days bring strange, quiet moments of reflection. They remind us of how far we’ve come and what it took to get here.

This week’s blog, Every Moment Matters: The Gift Hidden in the Struggle, dives deeper into this idea, how even the hardest moments in life shape us, guide us, and bring us to where we are today.

I invite you to take a moment to reflect on your own journey:

• What moments, even the tough ones, have shaped who you are today?
• What might you see differently now if you looked for the gift within those struggles?

Click here to read the blog and let me know your thoughts.

I’d love to hear your story. Because this isn’t just about my moments. It’s about ours.