Behind the Curtain: Why This Year Feels Different
If you’re anything like me, New Year’s Eve always brought that sense of wonder. Looking into a year ahead, wondering if the cycle will lift. If I’ll actually receive the bonus I deserve or if it’ll be withheld again for some new reason I couldn’t have seen coming. Wondering how long cash will sustain into the new year, before the weight starts to set in. And wondering how the annual cancer scans will go in January.
Maybe you prefer reflection. I did that too. Reflecting on why I was still in the same place. Still doing the same shit and wondering why it’s not working. Wondering why living someone else’s life still isn’t working for me.
This year, I was a fish out of water, or at least, it felt that way. Everything was different, but in some strange way, it was all the same.
I didn’t plan to write this, but the words you’re about to read didn’t come easily. They came from resistance, discomfort, and a lot of sitting with truths I didn’t want to face.
I didn’t plan to write a blog on NYE. I’d allowed myself the grace to miss a week since I didn’t release one on Sunday because the words just weren’t there.
This wasn’t just about writing a blog or sharing a message. This was about getting real with myself, about the patterns I’ve been holding onto, the places I’ve been hiding, and the ways I’ve been keeping myself small without even realizing it.
The thing is, I thought I’d done the work. I thought I’d broken through all of that. But writing this, I realized there was still more to uncover.
What you’ll find below isn’t a list of resolutions or a how-to guide for the new year. It’s an invitation. It’s a challenge, not just for you, but for me too.
Because here’s the truth:
I’m done hiding.
I’m done holding back.
And if that resonates with you, I hope you’ll read this with an open heart and ask yourself the hard questions too.
Let’s see where this next year takes us. Together.
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